Closed Eyes

Breath in for three...hold four...out for three...

She said think of happiness and my mind drifted to our first kiss

She said see your peace and I thought of falling asleep beside you

She said picture the happiest place you can think of and I thought of your arms 

But then she said think of anger and I thought of the time you kissed my best friend without batting an eye towards me 

She said think of pain and I thought of those nights I fell asleep wondering if was enough 

She said think of hatred and I thought of your kind face

And your exquisite smile

And your big loving eyes

And I thought that maybe for a second, maybe I could just hate the love away. 

Breath in for three...hold four...out for three...

She said picture a beach and I thought of the waves in your eyes and their potential for destruction 

She said picture a shipwreck and I thought of your hatful words that made my heart sink

She said picture a gray area and I pictured the blur of a week that came after my shipwrecking storm 

Breath in for three...hold four...out for three

She told us to open our eyes and share our experience

I wanted to tell her how I was normally a happy person, but how anger and pain had been the most traumatic places my mind had gone to in this exercise. 

And then I realized that this was a reflection of how I was decaying in our year together. 

And then I closed my eyes and let my soul relax

Breath in for three...hold four...out for three...